3 Years

Okay, I would like to share that it is my 3 year anniversary with my boyfriend!  3 years ago this amazing the day before called me up and asked if I would like to go see a movie with him.  I agreed to his request.  3 years ago to this day I was waiting for my bus, but it was running late.  When I finally got there I did see him at first, so I sat by the fountain to wait for him.  I started to look around to see if I can see him, and there he was sitting behind me was him!

As we were waiting for the movie to start we started to make a lot of promises to each other, some of them being silly.  After the movie he asked if I need a ride home. I told him that would be great if he can.  As he was driving me home he started to tell me how I'm a really good friend and all that fun stuff.  Leading up to him asking me if I can be his girlfriend.  Of course I said yes!  So here we are today 3 years ago, 2 of the years being a long distance relationship.  I love him very much!!!

Feelings of frustration

A few days ago I get a friend request from a guy.  At first I thought it was like a family member because the last name were the same as one of my 2nd cousins.  But I found out it wasn't a family member at all, but it was a guy that I got set up on a blind date 3 years ago.  The first date went fine, we went to see the Dark Knight and talked a little bit.  But the second date is what helped made up my mind about him.  He wanted me to take a train up to Palmdale, an area I have no idea about.  Lucky for me that two of my friends said that they would make a double date and they would take me home after wards. 

So when we all met up, he kind of seem very upset that they were there.  I told him that I don't know him all that well and I'm not meeting him alone in an area that I'm not too familiar with.  We went to see Tropic Thunder and through out the movie, he was complaining about it and asking me if we could go.  From there I knew that it wasn't going to work.  I figure that I was just a booty call for him. 

Three years later, he finds me and last time I heard was that he had a girlfriend and they seem to be very happy.  But I guess just a few weeks ago they broke up.  He messages me and of course I will talk to him, but what is frustrating is that he asked me all these questions that if I find him attractive, or if we could hang out.  I told him that I can't answer any question on how attracted to a person I am is because I'm only attracted to one guy, and that is my boyfriend.  He hints that he wants me to give up everything that I have and build with a wonderful person for three years (as of tomorrow) to be with someone that I only hung out twice.

He thinks that we are compaitblele with each other, even when I told him that we are not.  Our sense of humor is different, he doesn't like to go out and I like to be social every now again.  And from the two times of hanging out with this guy, it seems that if he is looking for a booty call/servant-house keeper.   I told him that I have my boyfriend that I love very much and I'm not throwing that away.

Love

There are many people who have found their Mr. or Mrs. Right and the ones that haven't found their one and only, they wonder "Why can't I find my true love."  Well love isn't easy and sometimes we let the outer appearance fog our judgment.  You know in high school there is this nice, sweet, smart person that has a huge crush on you, but you decided that they weren't your type because you thought that they were beneath you and that you feel that you deserve the hottest person on campus, or something along those lines.... And what ends up happening that that hot person ends up being a real jerk and treats you real badly.  We need to get to know a person on a much deeper level to get to know them and see who they really are.  Their personalities will shine through and you realize how beautiful, or handsome a person can really be.  Or the person you thought that was super cute ends up being a real pain in to butt and is really mean to everyone ends up not being so great looking...

And there is the people who feel lonely because they don't have anyone...and yes, love is an amazing feeling to feel and having someone to share this feelings with is the best feeling in the world!  But the advice I will give is don't go looking for it.  You'll just end up looking for love at all the wrong places with all the wrong people.  You should just take care of you and be happy for everything in your life.  Because a partner isn't going to get you a job (you are), they aren't going to get you through school (you are), and they aren't going to decide your life for you (you are) Once you stop looking and start having a good time and doing everything in life that you want to do someone may show up and they may end up being the one.

This one guy I know has a huge crush on this one girl for the longest time and she would be nice to him and what not.  But she is really shallow and only go for the popular guys.  So one day he asked her to go out for lunch as friends.  She agrees to it and when the day comes, she makes up a some phony story of why she couldn't make it, so the scheduled for another day.  When that day came, she doesn't show and calls him up saying that she doesn't think its right and said "I don't like you"  He was all heartbroken about it.  I told him that its better to be single and have your friends then to end up with someone who doesn't love you and will mistreat you.  What is the point of being in a relationship if you aren't going to be happy.

Don't shut off from possible relationships, but don't jump into them blind.  Take it slow, get to know the person, and be yourself.  Also remember to be happy with yourself because if you aren't happy with you and how are you going to be happy in a relationship.

The reason for women

I saw this and I thought it was beautiful, so I figure I would share this:

“When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke
them into being. When I created man, I formed him from
the dust of the Earth and breathed life into his
nostrils. But you, woman, I fashioned after I breathed
the breath of life into man because your nostrils are
too delicate. I allowed a deep sleep to come over him
so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you. Man
was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with
the creativity. From one bone I fashioned you. I chose
the bone that protects man’s life. I chose the rib,
which protects his heart and lungs and supports him,
as you are meant to do.”

“Around this one bone I shaped you. I modeled you. I
created you perfectly and beautifully. Your
characteristics are as the rib, strong yet delicate
and fragile. You provide protection for the most
delicate organ in man, his heart. His heart is the
center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of
life. The rib cage will allow itself to be broken
before it will allow damage to the heart. Support man
as the rib cage supports the body.”

“You were not taken from his feet, to be under him,
nor were you taken from his head, to be above him. You
were taken from his side, to stand beside him and be
held close to his side. You are my perfect angel. You
are my beautiful little girl. You have grown to be a
splendid woman of excellence, and my eyes fill when I
see the virtue in your heart. Your eyes: don’t change
them. Your lips: how lovely when they part in prayer.
Your nose so perfect in form, your hands so gentle to
touch. I’ve caressed your face in your deepest sleep;
I’ve held your heart close to mine. Of all that lives
and breathes, you are the most like me.”

“Adam walked with me in the cool of the day and yet he
was lonely. He could not see me or touch me. He could
only feel me. So everything I wanted Adam to share and
experience with me, I fashioned in you: my holiness,
my strength, my purity, my love, my protection and
support. You are special because you are the extension
of me.”

“Man represents my image, woman – my emotions.
Together, you represent the totality of God. So man:
treat woman well. Love her, respect her, for she is
fragile. In hurting her, you hurt me. What you do to
her, you do to me. In crushing her, you only damage
your own heart, the heart of your Father and the heart
of her Father. Woman, support man. In humility, show
him the power of emotion I have given you. In gentle
quietness show your strength. In love, show him that
you are the rib that protects his inner self.”

Classes

I'm already done with my classes to get my degree in Early Childhood Education.   But I don't have enough classes to get my master teacher permit.  So over the summer I sign up for a class for the fall, and it was an online class.  It was the ECE 201 Supervision class, but I found out that is for people who work behind the desk and not the right class for my permit and the class that I do need is ECE 220, and they already offered it last semester and its one of those classes that they only offer it so many times.  I'm kind of feeling down about it.

So I drop the class because it cost me $144 (I know that is cheap and that there is people have to pay more for books)  and I could use the money to hold me over for the month.  And that class isn't going to really do me any good right now.


But I found out that they are going to have that class again in the spring, but not sure which campus its going to be at and it is a late class.  So I'm feeling a little bit better and I'm going to hope that they are offering the 220 class and that I can pass it, so I can get my master teacher permit!  There is still hope for me yet!

Teamwork

Working in a daycare means that that the teachers work together.  Doing the work together to make sure everything runs smoother and the job can get done.  The way our center work is that we do looping.  We get the kids for two years and then they move on to a new teacher.  But we don't stay in the same classroom, they switch to a different classroom, but they are still with their friends and teachers they had in the first year.  Last year before summer vacation, a teacher came up to us and said "Once you clean the outside toys, put them in the bag and store it in the classroom.  This way it is one less thing to do. And we will do the same in our yard."  So we spent the whole last week before break to do just that.  Yesterday we came back from break and started to get things ready, only to find that they didn't do a single thing both the outside and inside.

Lucky that we had a lot of staff people to work on outside and we were able to get inside all cleaned up in two days!  Now we are finished and tomorrow is the first day back for the the children.  I have a feeling that this year is going to be a pretty good year.  Both the rooms seem to be able to work together and getting along.  Which would be the first time since the one master teacher in the other room is impossible to work with.  But I don't think we have to worry too much about her anymore and just have a good time with the kids!  I have a feeling that this is going to be a good school year! =)

Cheating

It sucks when someone cheats on you..I know because my first boyfriend cheated on me probably more than once all I know, and my current boyfriend almost cheated on me.  Its not the best feeling in the world.  You think "I am not good enough for them" or "What did I do wrong?"  You also tend to blame yourself for why your partner cheated on you.  And the ones that cheat will come up with a reason why it is okay to cheat: 1) The relationship is bad, 2) They cheated on me, 3) I might lose a their friendship, 4) I got bored of the relationship, or any other reason.  But cheating isn't okay at all for any reason; if you are in a bad relationship or you are bored in a relationship then you should break up with them...it would hurt less then to drag it out and they find out that you cheated on them.  If they cheated on you, then you should talk it out, but don't go find someone and sleep with them.  Two wrongs don't make a right and you will be sinking down to their level and that isn't right.  If someone is trying to sleep with you and they know that you are in a relationship already, maybe they aren't a good friend if they can't be respectful and how is that cool to break off a sure thing for something that would be more than a one night stand.

I know a few people who are cheating on other people.  All last semester this one guy went through a billion girlfriends...right there that isn't right that he kept breaking it off to be with someone "better."  So he finally meets this really nice woman and he cheats on her with a younger girl.  That was a messy situation all together.  Then my brother's ex girlfriend at the time girlfriend cheated on him with his best friend now ex best friend and played the game of giving him the run around.  Now I learn that my brother is making out with a girl who already has a boyfriend.  I can't believe how low he has sunk to do that to another person after going through with something similar.  Cheating is wrong and people should do it for whatever the lame reason they have.  If you don't like it then break up, but also don't break up with a person just so you can be with another person.  You might as well be cheating on them...

Handouts

A few weeks ago, I was at the bus station waiting for my bus to show up after a day of babysitting.  This guy comes up to me and asked me if I had any money to give him because his car was out of gas and he need to pick up his kids.  So I gave him some money for gas, but after I was second guessing if that was a right idea.  Yesterday I was with a couple of friends in front of the theater waiting for another friend.  The same guy comes up to us and asked for money for gas and his kids are stuck and he needed to get them.  I told him no, and one of my friend gave him some pocket change about maybe 25 cents.  I told them that he asked for money a few weeks ago and that he prove to be a lazy, lying, jerk.  About another hour went by we see him again with a bag from one of the stores at the mall and still asking for money.  I kind of felt mad about the whole thing where people work for their money and this guy is going around lying to get money and buying  stuff; when he said it was to pick up his kids.

I'm also mad at the fact that I thought his kids were in trouble and that is why I gave him the money few weeks ago.  I'm sure that is why people gave him any money.  But to lie about that is just wrong, I also really think that he doesn't have any kids.  I work hard for my money and seeing someone going up to people making up a story and then gets money just to lie.  That isn't cool!  All I know is that if I see him again with that same story, I'm going to call the cops on him. Fool me once shame on me, fool me twice shame on you!

"No"

Not that long ago I just walked through the mall to get to the library because it would be faster than the other route.  I walk passed on of the stands that are outside the stores.  This guy wanted to use a new flat iron on my hair, so I went along with it to see how it works because when I start getting more money, I'm going to need a new one.  But I don't need a new one right this very minute.  Then he assumes that I'm going to buy it.  I told that I don't have the money to buy it right now.  He wouldn't take no for an answer.  I felt like a rape victim.  He kept asking for my card to pay for it and I kept telling him no, I don't have the money.  So I finally had enough and I started to cry, he started to freak out because I was scaring away his other customers and told me that I can come back when I have have more money. 

I walked away feeling pretty upset.  I should had to cry to get this guy to leave me alone, but I'm glad that it worked.  All I know is that when it is time to get a new flat iron, I'm not going to that guy!

Appreciation

I just want to let everyone know that I appreciate my boyfriend very much.  I just got off skype with him, and he was telling me how much he appreciated for the things I do and thank me for things that really do not need any thanking.  But the fact that he is so grateful for the things I do which I see that aren't that big of a deal made me realize that he is grateful for me and the small things I do for him.  My ex boyfriend wasn't as grateful as my boyfriend now; I paid for all of the dates and what not, and he has not thank me or seem very grateful for it.  It made me feel horrible.

I'm very grateful for my boyfriend.  He makes me laugh, feel good about myself, and supports everything I do.  He feels that he needs to do more for me, but I'm happy for the things he already does for me.  I love him very much and I'm so lucky that he has asked me to be his.  I couldn't have asked for a greater man in my life than the one I have.  Almost 3 years and we are still madly in love with each other is amazing!  I'm a very lucky person to have such a wonderful man and I love him very much and I'm grateful for the things he does for me.

Knitting

As of yesterday I took up knitting.  Today, I've learn the basics to knitting and let me tell you that it is not easy.  The joy of working with yarn started about a year or so when my friend bought me a crochet hook and a giant thing of pink yarn and showed me how to crochet.  Then I made my boyfriend a scarf (It was horrible, but he seems to love it) and then another friend of mine told me that I was doing it wrong.  I was using the wrong kind of stitches and she showed me other kinds of stitches I could use, helping me improve even more.  Then I went on crocheting a bunch of stuff.  But I felt that I was limited of what I could do with yarn.  Yesterday I went to walmart and picked up some yarn and a pair of knitting needles and try to learn how to knit.  Yesterday I had to stop because I wasn't getting it.  Today I went to youtube and it showed me an easier way to cast on yarn on the needle.   Casting on from hand to needle is much easier than casting from needle to needle. After learning to to cast on, I've started to learn how to knit and make stitches.  I'm picking it up really quickly, but I still need to work on it to get better and learn the cool, fancy designs for scarves and sweaters and all sorts of stuff I can knit.

I'm not giving up on crocheting, I'm just learning other things and be able to do more.  I like how the dolls look by crocheting them over knitting them.  Also crocheting is much easier to do than knitting.  Right now my first knitting project I'm working on is a scarf for my mom.  It won't be easy; especially they type of yarn I'm using.  The yarn I'm using is very fluffy and it easily falls apart.  So needless to say I had to stop, and put down everything and I'm going to go back at it the next day and maybe get even better at it =)

I guess there is a moral in here...If you are interested in doing something that you should give it a try.  And if it is too hard to do it, just keep practicing and you'll get better. Start of doing one step or lesson at a time, keep working on it until you get better doing it.  Once you have mastered that one lesson, move on to the next one and work on that until you are good at it.  And if you start to get frustrated, just stop and walk away and go back at it once you are clam and have a clear mind.  Don't give up and keep practicing because a little hard work over time will make anything you do a lot easier to do and you'll get better at it.