You say that you would do anything, but is that true? You are friends with girls that I don't trust and all I hear is that I'm wrong. You won't admit that I'm right. You won't admit that your so call good friend is a bitch when you know she is, and you say that you know that I don't like them. If you do, then why are you friends with them? You said that you would stand up to anyone that bad mouth me, but is that true? You are friend with someone who try to get you to sleep with them and almost cheated on me with. You said that we could do this, but we always end up doing thing that you want to do. You say you would do anything...if that is the case then I would love if you get rid of them, but we both know that isn't going to happen...
I'm so upset and I'm such a mess right now...you have know idea..you don't understand at all. I don't know what to do or what to say...This could all be because I'm tired, and I'm pmsing...All I know is that I'm depressed and I'm crying. I need a hug right now
Restlessly Still
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Pissy Mood Syndrome (PMS)
Today is the worse day in history! No joke! I want this day to be over because it suck so much right now. Everything that could of bad happened has happened...also this day went too long. It started this morning and it didn't stop from there. And I started my period too! So I'm in a very grumpy mood!!!
I'm at work at 7:30am. My normal shift is at 8, but I usually get there half an hour early and I just set everything up. So I'm use to being there at 7:30. But today, I got there just before 8. Thought I wasn't late, it still through me off. I wasn't use to it and I felt like I was behind. And being in band, I'm so use to being early because if we were on time we were late.
Every morning before going to work, I like to stop by Starbucks and get my Green Tea Lemonade sweeten. Last year I had three different Starbucks mess up my order three to five times in a row...But once I started working in August, the Starbucks I go to every day has done a fantastic job. But today they messed up my order. And I looked at my mom and told her that today wasn't going to be a good day. Though it was only a joke because they messed up my order.
The rest of the day went well with at work. I had to stay late to cover a shift of another coworker. So my day was very very long. Though in the room that I was covering, the kids were a little more aggressive than the ones that I'm use to. And it was frustrating because they were aggressive towards each other but they didn't really listen because they didn't know me.
On my way home, I waited forever for the bus, so I decided that I didn't want to wait anymore and start walking to the transfer station. By the time I was almost to the light, my bus drove passed me. Walked or not, I still would have waited for my other bus. My mom calls me to ask were I am. I told her I was no where near the store where she was at.
I get about half way home, and I get a call from my dad saying that he called my mom and that she was waiting for AAA. I was freaking out thinking something bad has happened to her. I get to the store where she was at and luckily that she was okay and there was only a very little scratch on the car...you can't really see it. Though my dad was not happy about it.
And I found out tomorrow at work 7 teachers asked tomorrow off, and we hope that no one calls out tomorrow. Tomorrow is going to be crazy...And to top it all off I have started my period, so I'm not in a good mood at all...
This day can end
I'm at work at 7:30am. My normal shift is at 8, but I usually get there half an hour early and I just set everything up. So I'm use to being there at 7:30. But today, I got there just before 8. Thought I wasn't late, it still through me off. I wasn't use to it and I felt like I was behind. And being in band, I'm so use to being early because if we were on time we were late.
Every morning before going to work, I like to stop by Starbucks and get my Green Tea Lemonade sweeten. Last year I had three different Starbucks mess up my order three to five times in a row...But once I started working in August, the Starbucks I go to every day has done a fantastic job. But today they messed up my order. And I looked at my mom and told her that today wasn't going to be a good day. Though it was only a joke because they messed up my order.
The rest of the day went well with at work. I had to stay late to cover a shift of another coworker. So my day was very very long. Though in the room that I was covering, the kids were a little more aggressive than the ones that I'm use to. And it was frustrating because they were aggressive towards each other but they didn't really listen because they didn't know me.
On my way home, I waited forever for the bus, so I decided that I didn't want to wait anymore and start walking to the transfer station. By the time I was almost to the light, my bus drove passed me. Walked or not, I still would have waited for my other bus. My mom calls me to ask were I am. I told her I was no where near the store where she was at.
I get about half way home, and I get a call from my dad saying that he called my mom and that she was waiting for AAA. I was freaking out thinking something bad has happened to her. I get to the store where she was at and luckily that she was okay and there was only a very little scratch on the car...you can't really see it. Though my dad was not happy about it.
And I found out tomorrow at work 7 teachers asked tomorrow off, and we hope that no one calls out tomorrow. Tomorrow is going to be crazy...And to top it all off I have started my period, so I'm not in a good mood at all...
This day can end
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Clueless
This is a rant. If I don't, I will cuss someone out...and I rather not do that...Do not have to read this...
Thank you...
Ever met people where they talk about love and how they are never going to find it. It is so annoying because they are the types that will ignore the ones that will give them the time and day, and will go after the ones that don't care about them, or the ones that already have boyfriends/girlfriends. I'm rather sick of it.
There is this one person who just coincidentally started going by my name after visiting my boyfriend last year. Calming that one of her friends is calling her that...bs! She told my boyfriend that she wanted to meet me...it was to see if I was a real person. She avoided coming up and to meet me. She loves to borrow my boyfriend, and other guys, stuff. She steals her friends crush and ruins everything between them. But doesn't stay in relationships long because she wants to be with my boyfriend. She tries to get to hang out with him, but he doesn't respond to her...she doesn't get it!
I really can say I hate her guts...she pretends to be a cool, nice person, but really she is a home wrecker. She loves drama though she says she doesn't. She steal other guys from other girls, or tries to. If she keeps up with this crap, then she is going have no one and will be all alone...
So my word of advice is to actually give the guys that think you are something great a chance, and stop thinking you have a chance with guys that really don't give a flying fuck what you do...You won't get hurt as much...
I feel better now
Thank you...
Ever met people where they talk about love and how they are never going to find it. It is so annoying because they are the types that will ignore the ones that will give them the time and day, and will go after the ones that don't care about them, or the ones that already have boyfriends/girlfriends. I'm rather sick of it.
There is this one person who just coincidentally started going by my name after visiting my boyfriend last year. Calming that one of her friends is calling her that...bs! She told my boyfriend that she wanted to meet me...it was to see if I was a real person. She avoided coming up and to meet me. She loves to borrow my boyfriend, and other guys, stuff. She steals her friends crush and ruins everything between them. But doesn't stay in relationships long because she wants to be with my boyfriend. She tries to get to hang out with him, but he doesn't respond to her...she doesn't get it!
I really can say I hate her guts...she pretends to be a cool, nice person, but really she is a home wrecker. She loves drama though she says she doesn't. She steal other guys from other girls, or tries to. If she keeps up with this crap, then she is going have no one and will be all alone...
So my word of advice is to actually give the guys that think you are something great a chance, and stop thinking you have a chance with guys that really don't give a flying fuck what you do...You won't get hurt as much...
I feel better now
Friday, October 14, 2011
Moving Forward
Today I decided to call up the children centers in the Humboldt area. I'm planing on moving up there this summer. I've called up a bunch of centers to see how often they go through staff and only one place said that they do a lot of hiring, and another place that said the needed subs and that could possibly turn into a more permanent position. Another place I talk to said that the job market for early childhood education is hard to get into in the area because a lot of students from Humboldt State are applying to the centers just to stay in the education type jobs. Now I'm freaking out about not being able to find a job up there, but if I stay down here I don't get to be with Chris. We planned for us to move in together.
The pros of me staying down here:
1) I have a job
2) My family and my friends is down here
The cons of me staying down here:
1) I don't get to see Chris very often
2) I would be living with my parents
3) I wouldn't get to grow as a person and an educator
The pros of me moving:
1) I get to live with the one I love
2) I get my own place
3) I can start my life
4) I might find a place that will give me my own classroom in the future (If I get into one)
5) The area is beautiful
The cons of me moving:
1) I might not find a job for awhile
2) Money could cause a problem trying to pay for things and we run out
3) I don't know the area well
I don't know what to do right now. I know its not for a while, but I can't help not to think of what is going happen and plan for the future. Right now I'm feeling conflicted about this whole thing and I'm scared about this...
The pros of me staying down here:
1) I have a job
2) My family and my friends is down here
The cons of me staying down here:
1) I don't get to see Chris very often
2) I would be living with my parents
3) I wouldn't get to grow as a person and an educator
The pros of me moving:
1) I get to live with the one I love
2) I get my own place
3) I can start my life
4) I might find a place that will give me my own classroom in the future (If I get into one)
5) The area is beautiful
The cons of me moving:
1) I might not find a job for awhile
2) Money could cause a problem trying to pay for things and we run out
3) I don't know the area well
I don't know what to do right now. I know its not for a while, but I can't help not to think of what is going happen and plan for the future. Right now I'm feeling conflicted about this whole thing and I'm scared about this...
Monday, October 10, 2011
Surviving the Modern World
You ever heard the phrase "Don't judge a book by its cover" or "Stick and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." To help kids learn that we can't let what other say or think about us get to us and stop us from what we are doing. That is true to a point. We have all these rights and freedom of speech and expression, but to get by in this world we have to blend in, or mold to what the higher ups want us to be.
America is great because we have all these rights and freedoms. We can wear what we want, and we can have as many tattoos and piercings as we want and where we want them. But when it comes to a job interview; Employers aren't going to hire people that look like an advertisement for a tattoo parlor. You can be the nicest person in the world, but if you have a billion piercings and tattoos that cover your body. The ones that are hiring won't take you serious because that isn't the idea of what is professional.
They tell us we should judge a book by its cover, but also first impressions are everything. Like I said before, you can be the nicest person, and the most hard working...but if you don't have a look they are looking for, then they already know that they aren't going to pick you for the job.
The saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." is telling kids that no matter what others say or think of you that you should play it off like its nothing. But here is the problem with that is that our society is so needing to be accepted that they will put up with the teasing and bulling to just to fit in. Also that people will say hurtful things and it will hurt you. Words leave a deeper scar than most physical wounds. People should give others the satisfaction of that it hurts you. But they leave out that it is okay to feel hurt. You have the right to feel what you are feeling. When people tell you to grow a thicker skin, just means that they don't want to do anything to help and feel that its not important.
I've read an article online about a boy who couldn't walk and was made fun of because of it. He was also beaten up. He told the school of what was happening, and nothing was done, and this never ended. The boy finally had enough and he took his own life. It is sad that something that could have been done, but did nothing.
We will do what it takes to fit in. And for those who try so hard to not fit in..*cough, cough* emos *cough* Will call us conformist because we will fit in. But like in the animal kingdom, animals will change and adapt to their surroundings to fit in the real world. And that is what we are doing...We want a job, and will do everything we can to get it. So we will change and adapt to meet the needs and wants of the hiring people to notice us. This means we get a job, that means money, and money means home, food, and other stuff to survive.
A simple phrase or just simply ignoring it isn't going to make things go away. That we do need to look a certain way and act a certain way just to fit in, so we can be able to get jobs to make a living. And that words do hurt. And because of this we don't really have the freedom to express individuality, unless you don't really want a job. That we do "conform" to fit the roles and play the parts that job places are looking for. It is survival of the fittest in this crazy jungle we call a city.
America is great because we have all these rights and freedoms. We can wear what we want, and we can have as many tattoos and piercings as we want and where we want them. But when it comes to a job interview; Employers aren't going to hire people that look like an advertisement for a tattoo parlor. You can be the nicest person in the world, but if you have a billion piercings and tattoos that cover your body. The ones that are hiring won't take you serious because that isn't the idea of what is professional.
They tell us we should judge a book by its cover, but also first impressions are everything. Like I said before, you can be the nicest person, and the most hard working...but if you don't have a look they are looking for, then they already know that they aren't going to pick you for the job.
The saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." is telling kids that no matter what others say or think of you that you should play it off like its nothing. But here is the problem with that is that our society is so needing to be accepted that they will put up with the teasing and bulling to just to fit in. Also that people will say hurtful things and it will hurt you. Words leave a deeper scar than most physical wounds. People should give others the satisfaction of that it hurts you. But they leave out that it is okay to feel hurt. You have the right to feel what you are feeling. When people tell you to grow a thicker skin, just means that they don't want to do anything to help and feel that its not important.
I've read an article online about a boy who couldn't walk and was made fun of because of it. He was also beaten up. He told the school of what was happening, and nothing was done, and this never ended. The boy finally had enough and he took his own life. It is sad that something that could have been done, but did nothing.
We will do what it takes to fit in. And for those who try so hard to not fit in..*cough, cough* emos *cough* Will call us conformist because we will fit in. But like in the animal kingdom, animals will change and adapt to their surroundings to fit in the real world. And that is what we are doing...We want a job, and will do everything we can to get it. So we will change and adapt to meet the needs and wants of the hiring people to notice us. This means we get a job, that means money, and money means home, food, and other stuff to survive.
A simple phrase or just simply ignoring it isn't going to make things go away. That we do need to look a certain way and act a certain way just to fit in, so we can be able to get jobs to make a living. And that words do hurt. And because of this we don't really have the freedom to express individuality, unless you don't really want a job. That we do "conform" to fit the roles and play the parts that job places are looking for. It is survival of the fittest in this crazy jungle we call a city.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Good Men
We women always complain about where are all the good men. Not all of us, but a good amount does. And our reason why is that they are all taken, or gay. That isn't true! There is plenty of good men out there, it is just that we are being shallow or our standers are too high. We complain that all the guys are jerks, and we have us to blame for it.
There is plenty of nice guys out there and we need to stop and take the time to get to know them. But what we end up doing is we go for the hot jerk. But that doesn't matter because he is so hot and it is okay if he treats us like crap, right? Wrong! Because we go for the jerks, the good guys think they need to be one so they can get someone to notice them.
Not all the good guys that are sweet is gay. It is all inner beauty. When we get to know someone long enough we start to see their inner self. If they are sweet and kind on the inside, then more and likely you see a beautiful person with a beautiful soul. But when the inner beauty stinks and they are a major pain in the butt and treat everyone horribly...more and likely they aren't that great looking.
All the good ones are taken...it is either that the ones that are in relationships because they have someone that is thankful for them, or that they are jerks and they found someone that is stupid to stay with them. But don't try to take a great guy away from someone...that isn't cool...why break up two people's happiness for your own. You'll find someone who is just as great....but don't sink to a low level to steal another man from a person...that isn't cool...
So we have ourselves to thank why good guys are being jerks...because we are going for that kind of guy. So if you are in a relationship with a really great guy, don't take him for granted. Be thankful that you are lucky to be blessed with a good man!
There is plenty of nice guys out there and we need to stop and take the time to get to know them. But what we end up doing is we go for the hot jerk. But that doesn't matter because he is so hot and it is okay if he treats us like crap, right? Wrong! Because we go for the jerks, the good guys think they need to be one so they can get someone to notice them.
Not all the good guys that are sweet is gay. It is all inner beauty. When we get to know someone long enough we start to see their inner self. If they are sweet and kind on the inside, then more and likely you see a beautiful person with a beautiful soul. But when the inner beauty stinks and they are a major pain in the butt and treat everyone horribly...more and likely they aren't that great looking.
All the good ones are taken...it is either that the ones that are in relationships because they have someone that is thankful for them, or that they are jerks and they found someone that is stupid to stay with them. But don't try to take a great guy away from someone...that isn't cool...why break up two people's happiness for your own. You'll find someone who is just as great....but don't sink to a low level to steal another man from a person...that isn't cool...
So we have ourselves to thank why good guys are being jerks...because we are going for that kind of guy. So if you are in a relationship with a really great guy, don't take him for granted. Be thankful that you are lucky to be blessed with a good man!
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Going the Distance
I'm sure that there is a handful of people who have been, or in a long distance relationship. And many of you will say that it is hard. You will be correct! I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend and each day the I miss him more. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we've been in a long distance relationship of 2 years. A long distance isn't for everyone, and it's more of a test to see that if the two parties that are in the relationship can last. You have to be strong in the relationship, you have to trust each other, and you have to communicate with each other. These are also the ingredients for a good relationship in general and not just a long distance one.
It is hard because you don't know if the person you are with is cheating on you, or they are not. But the only way is to talk to each other. My boyfriend and I skype every night and we email each other like crazy. We tell each other everything and we don't hide a thing from each other.
You also need trust. You have to trust them not to cheat on you and trust them when they say the are not. Unless you have proof other wise that says they are, but if you think they are cheating on you and they say the aren't. You have to trust them because you weren't there and there is nothing you have to say other wise.
A lot of people say that long distance relationship don't last and that is true because a lot of people don't want to take the time to make it work. I'm not saying it is easy, but if you get two people who are dedicated to each other and take the right steps, and you'll find that it works. Not to call anyone weak, but if your relationship is weak then it can't survive a long distance.
In fact that I find that this long distance relationship that I'm in made me stronger in both myself and my relationship. You'll also grow to apperciate each other more and what ever time that you do have, you don't take for granted. I am the few proof of a successful long distance relationship.
It is hard because you don't know if the person you are with is cheating on you, or they are not. But the only way is to talk to each other. My boyfriend and I skype every night and we email each other like crazy. We tell each other everything and we don't hide a thing from each other.
You also need trust. You have to trust them not to cheat on you and trust them when they say the are not. Unless you have proof other wise that says they are, but if you think they are cheating on you and they say the aren't. You have to trust them because you weren't there and there is nothing you have to say other wise.
A lot of people say that long distance relationship don't last and that is true because a lot of people don't want to take the time to make it work. I'm not saying it is easy, but if you get two people who are dedicated to each other and take the right steps, and you'll find that it works. Not to call anyone weak, but if your relationship is weak then it can't survive a long distance.
In fact that I find that this long distance relationship that I'm in made me stronger in both myself and my relationship. You'll also grow to apperciate each other more and what ever time that you do have, you don't take for granted. I am the few proof of a successful long distance relationship.
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