You'll Find Love, But Don't Take mine

My boyfriend and I had a huge fight back in May about the things he has done up at Humboldt.  I found out that he broke his promise to me by hanging out with the girls that shall remain nameless behind my back.  He told me that he wouldn't talk to them, let alone hang out with them.  He didn't just lied to me, but also breaking his promise to me.  Later in that conversation that he said that he was wrapped around their fingers and bend over backwards for them.  I was so hurt because I can't get him to do much for me, not even see a scary movie with me.  So I told him that I can't stand for him lying to me and breaking promises and treating other girls better than he does me.  So I told him that I was leaving him because that what he was doing isn't fair to me.  He stopped me and told me that he would cut them off, and said that he would be fine without them, and that he needed me.  So I gave him a day to keep his word to me and he did so.  Now one of them that I know is trying *desperately* get back in his life. So he just ignores her.

Every once in awhile I see her post something that relates to boy problems...maybe because she would end up cheating on them, or gets tried of them quickly.  I sent her a message a while ago saying that "don't worry.  You don't look for love, it will find you." or something like that.  She seems really friendly, but only to learn that she was being nice just so she can get close to my boyfriend.    And now everything I like she is liking as well.  She is using my name.  It's B.S.  But I guess I should be flatter that she wants to be me.

A word of advice is that don't go looking for love because you'll never find it.  And don't take someone's happiness because you want them for a week.  And trying being yourself...Because if you do go into a relationship, it will last longer if they know the real you and the person that you pretend to be.  You want them to fall in love with you...not me

Hypocrisy

A few post ago I posted something about relationships and the single life and what not...well I saw a post that said: "Don t you just hate it when you see other people always constantly talk about how much they love there gf or bf and your like. Ya that's awesome im happy for you but in you head your like "thanks for reminding me im fucking single asshole" haha"  Once again I have to do a little rant about it.  This guy that posted that as his status use to be a great guy.  But over a year ago, his girlfriend broke up with him after she left for college.  He was jealous and would threaten every guy that would stare at her direction.  Ever since they broke up he went down hill, drinking, smoking pot, and hanging out with the wrong crowds.  He became, pardon my french, an ass!


This post isn't about picking on him, but the fact that he is the type of person that would do the same thing if he was in a relationship with someone.  But because he is not in a relationship, so he goes on and picks the ones that are.   I will agree that there are some people out there that would post something like "OMG!  I've been with my boyfriend for 10 seconds."  or something like that, or they just post something just to get approval from friends.  But there are some people that do post not to hope that their love one does read it or their friends, but to share there happy feelings.  It's a matter of stepping back and looking at the big picture and the type of person that is posting.

And if it your "so called friends" that are doing the posting.  Instead of getting jealous of them...should you be happy for them and not talking smack about them?   It is okay if you get jealous of a friend...we all went down that road....but you shouldn't treat them like dirt. 


I guess my advice would be.. .If you don't like a post, don't read it.  And if it is bugging you so much then don't be friends with people that are in relationships.  And if you are going to post something on facebook about how it bugs you so much...take a step back and look at yourself before point any fingers.  Because if you are just as bad as the people you claim that are doing such things...then don't complain. 

A diverse world

Hello everyone!  I know that I haven't been on awhile and I really haven't had much to talk about.  I've also been very busy working on upgrading my permit by taking more ECE classes and I'm going to be starting on working on getting my B.S degree.   I'm so excited!  One of the classes I took is ECE 165: teaching children about a diverse community.  In this class, we didn't just learned about being tolerant towards others, but to also to look at ourselves and open up.  One class meeting we had a group to come in and talk to the class.  GLIDE is the name of the group, and it is a gay support groups. 

One of the speakers there is a minister and very heavy in his religion but at the end he comes out to being gay.  At first he thought that he had to give up his religion because he was gay.  After a few years of opening up, he talked to his father (also a minister) said that there is nothing in the bible to say that being gay is wrong and to hate them for it. He started a branch of the church for people who are gay to  come in and pray.  He said that it is important to be yourself and opening up.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I understand for people not agreeing with homosexuality and that is okay to not agree with it.  Everyone does have the right to believe what they want to believe, but to go around and saying that these people need to die because you don't like is wrong.  Sometimes we forget what our founding fathers were trying to get across that this is the land of the free and the fact that we do need to respect all religions, race, genders, sexual orientation, abilities, social class, ect.  Especially for those who want to work in a field with children and wanting to make a difference. 

We need to put aside personal feelings and do what is right.  We have the power to change this world and to grow into something that can be great, but we need to understand that we are the ones that are giving the tools and guide them.  Lets guide the children in a positive way and make a world a better place!

Eating Hot wings

Boys eating fire!

Happy Valentine's day!

I agree that there shouldn't be one day to celebrate the love you have if you are a couple.  If you are single and want to call it single awareness day then by all means go ahead!  But what ticks me off a bit is where people who are single throw either a pity party because they feel they need to have someone to just celebrate a commercial holiday.  But what I don't like is that when single people are picking on couples because they love each other.  I agree that you should love your partner every day and not just once a year, but that isn't okay to make couples feel bad because you are alone. 

One post that made me wrote this said this: "Thank you to all the lovely couples out there reminding me today that I don't have a special someone in my life...happy single awareness day!"  I'm sorry that ever couple has to stop being a couple because you are to busy focusing on why you don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend to do stuff with. They are the same that if they see two people showing a little PDA that they make quotes like "Get a room!"  and they say it with disgust.  If it bugs you so much then don't look!

I know they're couples out there that go a little far with a PDA and that isn't okay!  And for the single people who don't make a big deal about it, I say thank you!  You aren't being big cry babies about it.  Like I've told people before;  It is nice to have someone, but it isn't the end of the world if you don't have anyone!

And to those who make a big deal on not having a special someone, or bagging on couples because you are jealous I have one thing to say and ask of you:

1) Please stop teasing and making fun of couples!  Just because you are jealous of others doesn't make it okay to be a jerk about it!

2) My Advise for those who are so desperate to find someone:  Stop acting like you are God's gift to everyone.  Stop the pity me game.  It is a big turn off and it makes everyone not want to be around you (either relationships or friendship).

Thank you!

Brain Vs. Heart

Lately I've been feeling out of sorts and I don't know why.  I love my boyfriend very, very much, but I still feel unhappy.  When we hang out, I'm happy and I have fun with him, but when we are apart...I feel like crying.  I'm not sure why...is it because I'm not happy with him, or is it that I'm not happy without him...I don't know.

Before I wasn't happy with him because I thought he was lying to me.  I thought he was cheating on me with this one girl.  He almost cheated on me with another girl his first year up at Humboldt.  After that I didn't believe that he loved me...I didn't trust him...He says he loves me, but I feel like that he I'm his ticket out.

I don't know what to do, who to believe...Part of me feels that I'm not for him that he needs better.  Some of the things he jokes with me...I feel like he doesn't want to be with me like he is finding away out of the relationship.  Part of me feels like breaking up with him is the right thing to do...but part of me loves him and wants to be with him.

The part of me that wants to be with him can see myself marrying him, having kids with him.  He makes me laugh.  He tells me that he loves me and that he means it.  He tells me that I'm beautiful and he does try to make me feel good about myself.  He said that he would treat me like a queen and that he can see a future with me.  We have so much in common and we do have a good time together.

But the part of me that feels like breaking up is the best thing to do because no matter what happens now and what he says...I'm still hurt from the night of him almost cheating on me.  And the words he said about him being with other girls if he wasn't with me. I feel that he isn't serious with me and I still feel hurt and pain with some of the memories.  And despite that he hasn't cheated on me...he did lied to me.  He told me he never talk to the girl that I felt like he was cheated on me and then tells me that here and there he does talk to her.  I'm never sure with him.

He changed so much that I don't even know who he is anymore.  The way he talks and acts isn't him anymore.  It seems he tries to be someone that he isn't.  The person he is trying to be is kind of a playboy and tries to get with whatever girl he can.  I feel that he is going to be like that...if he hasn't been like that already.  That he doesn't need me anymore and want to be with every girl that he kind of likes, or likes him.  Soon I feel he will start to see that I'm not enough, or good enough for him.

I don't know how to feel anymore, what to do...

Relationship Status

I saw someone post a picture that states "Single is not a status.  It's a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others."  I'm not going to lie that it made me offended.  I'm in a relationship with a wonderful person and I'm very happy with him!  I'm not saying everyone needs to find someone and get in a relationship now, but I feel like it is saying that I need my boyfriend to be happy and enjoy life.  Not everyone wants to be in a relationship, or ready to be in one.

Those who are single aren't losers...they just haven't found the right person for them, or that they are not the types that want to have a relationship.  But they aren't better people than the ones that are in a relationship because they can live life without "depending" on others.  Plus that isn't true...what about friends and family?  I think people tend to rely on them as well as a lover if they had one.  Relationships aren't for everyone...and they are people who are in a relationship that shouldn't really be in one for their own good.

Those who are in a relationships aren't better than those who aren't in one.   Not everyone that is in a relationship isn't some weak person that can't be happy without having a boyfriend/girlfriend.  Yes, I will agree that they are people out there that are in relationships, or want one because they aren't happy with who they are.   Like I said before, I have a boyfriend that I'm very happy with...but it isn't the end all be all.  I know that I will be okay without having him next to me 24/7.  And if we did break up...I know that I will be okay and that life goes on.  Relationships are great, but they aren't everything.  If you can't take care of yourself then how do you expect to take care of another person.

I know a couple that is getting married, but they shouldn't because one the guy is trying to prove something and he is only getting what he thinks is the best he can do, and she is marrying him because she doesn't want die alone and she is cheating on him with many guys.


I guess what I'm saying is that relationships aren't everything and that you need to be happy with yourself.  But I disagree with the quote because it sounds like everyone that is in a relationship needs people to be happy.